She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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