I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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