i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
