she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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