i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
