so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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