I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
