just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
