Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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