Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
