You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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