It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize