Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
