she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
