at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize