then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
