pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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