He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
