I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
