Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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