i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize