Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
