other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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