he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
