Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
