Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
