I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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