Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
