Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
