If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
