Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
