The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
