I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't put those talents on a resume
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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