It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
