wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
