how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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