This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
