Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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