That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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