Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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