There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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