Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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