Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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