the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize