belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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