maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
