Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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