thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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