i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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