Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
