Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
