I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
