just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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