The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
