Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
