i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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