I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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