? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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