You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
