my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
