For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am midnight drunk by noon
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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