1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
