And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
