yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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